Love

Voiceless

People really do fall in love sometimes.At young age,I fell in love. Not that I would do anything just for that but maybe adults would just describe my feelings as “PUPPY LOVE” or sometimes “INFATUATION”.
Hey. I must really admit that whenever I see handsome boys or someone whom I love his attitude,I would really had a crush on him. AUTOMATICALLY. I don’t know.
But some hopeless romantic person says that if you really love someone,whenever you saw him. Your world would stop. All you can see is him even though his in the middle of the dense crowd. And of course,you would really hear your heartbeat which beats like a bass drum.
For this fourteen years of my existence.,there are those moments that I would not really forget. The moments in which people I love the most would not really hear the feelings I have from the inside. My feelings are always VOICELSS.
~WAY BACK TO MY FIFTH YEAR IN ELEMENTARY
I met a guy. I would call him EDXIEL because it was our name combination. He’s cute,he has the attitude and I like him. I never saw him during my fourth grade but now I would always think of him. My classmates and his came teasing us. They always say that we really are meant to be.♥
Months and months passed by,those feelings I had for him grew bigger and bigger. And we talk. We even exchange our numbers and went texting the whole night. That time all we could say to each other was we love what we had. I mean we never had a relationship but he courted me. I never say YES because Im too young and I dont really want to be in a relationship and Im into my studies.
But one time,Im really pissed of because he came disturbing me and calling me. Guess what? My dad was the one who answered it. -_____- Maybe Im mad that time so I texted him and frankly told him that he’s not cute and I don’t like him anymore. After that time,he’s avoiding me and I’m really sorry for it.
He never heard me explaining.And I never had the guts to. Im always voiceless.
A month after,I just knew that he was courting my classmate. (Mind you,she’s more beautiful than me. But I must say she’s flirt xD) It’s hard for me. In the outside I went teasing them but the inside,I wanna cry and tell him the truth. But I guess,Im too late for that.
We graduated and separated our ways in highschool. I had his number and I must tell you that until now I regret what I did and I still love him. But I guess we’re not really meant to be. He’s deeply madly inlove with this girl (who is our neighbor) and daaaah. FRIENDS is enough for me though~
~2nd year experience Summer.
That was the time I started having crush on him. I call him CB. I don’t know where <em>I </em> got that name but all I can remember was it was a combination of Cleverboo and and Buang (anyways,BUANG is a vernacular term for crazy). Then it just went on.
We always text at each other and of course chatting in Facebook. That was the time this feeling started growing. When Im bored his always there and he always text messages that if you’re a girl would really make you feel butterflies on your stomach. Like,gaaaaaaah.
But my friends are correct. NEVER EXPECT. Those texts and messages are nothing to him. NOTHING. Im just his friend,his schoolmate.
You know why I had a crush on CB? It’s because we’ve been friends since elementary and we met our ways again way back in first year. while he was in second year. I’m done with the feelings.He never heard my feelings. And  of course,he had his BITCHY girlfriend that time. So,I stop those useless feelings.
Now,we are always exchanging text messages but I learned from the past.  I’d just go with the flow but I disciplined myself that I would never ever fall inlove with CB again. NOT ANYMORE.
#Lesson Learned
PS.
I solemnly swear by myself to just focus on my studies. No space for those guts out there anymore. aja!
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