DexielGetsDramatic · DexielgetsSerious · Diary · regrets · Years ago.

Because sometimes I feel like.. <//3

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I may joke around or laugh aloud, I may smile and show my dimples to you but don’t get fooled because I am crying on the inside. I am fake. I am a great pretender. I show everyone that I’m happy and I’m ok even though Im not.

Yes, my family and friends helped ease the loneliness for a little while. I felt so happy whenever Im with them. My stomach hurts and my eyes would be a bit teary whenever I laugh too much with my loved one. Isn’t it an amazing feeling? But.. at the end of the day Im alone.

Alone in the bus, loss in looking the horizon or simply admiring the clouds. Im alone thinking of the things that happened in that day or just reminiscing what happened years ago. Im alone and I couldn’t help feeling sad. Sad because I regret things I did and could never turn back time. Im alone thinking what could have happened if I did that and not this. What if’s would then follow. What if I had a time machine? What if I met people before things got complicated? What if they stayed a little longer here on Earth? Will I become a spoiled granddaughter? What if? What if things are not suppose to be this way?

Then Im back again at the present time. The sun was nowhere to be seen and the driver turned the bus into a sudden stop. Im finally home and Im done with my daydreaming/reminiscing thing. 🙂

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