3AM thoughts · DexielgetsSerious · Diary

3AM thoughts

When everything seems quite and  my roommates are asleep at night..
When highlighters are my buddy and coffee keeps me awake to study,
.
.
That’s when reality kicks in and hits me hard like in the chin.

I’M ALONE.

I’m always known to be the jolly, outgoing person but sometimes I just feel all alone despite:
*family who never fails to check up on me everyday because they couldn’t afford to know that their daughter is starving or is sick
*friends who were always there for me and supports me implicitly to everything I want
*org mates who always made serving the people fun and fulfilling.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I guess this is my 3AM realization, that Im alone not because life’s shit but maybe
because even if people makes me happy, there’s still a part of me that embraces melancholy.

A bitter spectre that only haunts you before you sleep at night- trying to tell you if the decisions you made were worth it and what’s even worse? It asks you if life is really worth living.

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