We’ve been Carson once in our life. We’ve been that girl-bestfriend who secretly loved Dio, her boy bestfriend.
The moment you set your eyes on him, you know something magically happened. It was like your heart started beating irregularly again, and the butterflies, which you thought were long dead, were once again present in your belly.
You had a crush on him- long before the two of you started talking in person.
Sleepless nights were spend thinking on how you would talk together about the recent GoT episode or just plainly stalking his un-stalkable (no informate gathered) twitter account.😂
Now that the stars had finally aligned and the odds were in your favor, your crush is now your friend.
FRIEND. You started talking about the Game of Thrones episode, you talk “things” only the two of you can understand, you started chatting late at night, you started eating meals together.. and the list goes on. So basically, you guys were like “BFFs” except for the fact that 1. He’s not gay 2. He’s 100% straight.
So even if you’re in denial that all the things the two of you shared were just NOTHING to you.. let me tell you something: NEVER ASSUME.
Never assume that the feelings you had for him will be reciprocated. Never assume that because he treats you better among your other classmates you’re special. Never assume that even if he tells you that you are special he loves you. Never assume that if he tells you he likes you he means it…romantically. Never assume that the two of you could happen. Because srsly? In the end, you are just going to be a mess of yourself. #selfdestroy💣🔫
The moment you started thinking deeply, you realize things. You realize that the guy you saw first day of school was not the guy you envisioned him to be.
He was not the guy you thought was sociable. He was the opposite– the introvert, shy guy. But once you overcame that phase.. yes, he was the guy you could talk about anything anytime. He’s good at conversations, he’s gentle, he’s caring, he’s funny. But he also got a real deal of imperfections I wish not to expose.
The problem with secretly loving your bestfriend is that it’s either you will love him more or love him less. And you realized that as time goes by, the feelings you had for him was gone. Not because he’s imperfect but because you learn to accept things.
Acceptance– once you find it, you will be eternally grateful. Once you accept that investing feelings to someone who can’t return it to you won’t do anything good, you will be happy yourself. It was a breathe of fresh air after a long day’s work. Acceptance. The moment you accept that you are “just the girl-bestfriend not the girlfriend” is the moment you finally set yourself free– free from the constraints of self-doubt and questioning your self-worth. Free from asking “what’s wrong with me?” just because he was not attracted you.
Sometimes, you have to let go. Holding on to something hopeless is so clichè. There’s a world out there and you should see so don’t make him your world. Don’t asa.
Besides, the advantage of being the bestfriend is that while relationships break, friendship remains. Maybe he chose to be that way because you are worth keeping than relationshits.