Poetry · scribbles · serious

Maybe not.

Stuck in the thing called “You and I”
Please tell me if you’re here to stay or just passed by
My heart died when you said goodbye
But the world lit up when you returned and said hi.

Please tell me I should wait
Or should I just forget everything since we were eight
They say love is sweeter the second time around,
You make me feel special and my heart goes pound and pound.

Maybe we’re not meant to be
Maybe you’re not just for me
Maybe because you’re not free
But maybe because the world conspires that you don’t love me.

And Im just stuck here, nearly falling
And I know you’re not catching
So  it’s too late to back out
I’ll just enjoy the fall and cry my hearts out.

Loving you for how many years
It couldn’t be measured by my tears
But one thing’s sure
All I ever feel was pure.

And tonight as I pour these words
Posted so all can see in the world
I promised to let you go.
Be happy. Go.

Be happy because someday I’ll be too.
Someday when stars aligned and I’ll meet someone like you.

3AM thoughts · DexielgetsSerious · Diary

3AM thoughts

When everything seems quite and  my roommates are asleep at night..
When highlighters are my buddy and coffee keeps me awake to study,
That’s when reality kicks in and hits me hard like in the chin.


I’m always known to be the jolly, outgoing person but sometimes I just feel all alone despite:
*family who never fails to check up on me everyday because they couldn’t afford to know that their daughter is starving or is sick
*friends who were always there for me and supports me implicitly to everything I want
*org mates who always made serving the people fun and fulfilling.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I guess this is my 3AM realization, that Im alone not because life’s shit but maybe
because even if people makes me happy, there’s still a part of me that embraces melancholy.

A bitter spectre that only haunts you before you sleep at night- trying to tell you if the decisions you made were worth it and what’s even worse? It asks you if life is really worth living.

Rants · serious

You can bury the tyrant, but not the past.


November 8,2016. Third year after #YolandaPH devastated the Philippines and killed many innocent people. Infrastructures were destroyed, the place was a wreck, and I even cant forget that picture wherein a father and a son covered in mud, embracing until their last breath. It was sad, unfortunate event.

Three years after the incident, as we commemorate the lives lost, another news saddened me.


*Allow me to rant on this one please.*

Ok, here we go, according to Marcos loyalists, the dictator is allowed to be buriefd there because

1. No law that prohibits the burial of Marcos’ remains at the LNMB. ( No law but what about the fact that THIS person threatened the freedom of my country, killed/tortured thousand of lives. Isn’t that enough?)

2.Marcos’ remains, under regulations of the AFP, can be interred at LNMB because he was a former president, commander-in-chief, soldier, medal of valor awardee, and legislator.
(BUT a human rights violator & dictator too.😧😤)

3. Marcos cannot be disqualified from burial at LNMB because he was not convicted of crimes involving moral turpitude.
(apparently the SC forgot the very reason of the origin of 1987 constitution, the existence of RA 10368 or the law for the reparation of HR victims during martial law, Aristoza,2016)

Im a millenial, and some may raise an argument telling me that I dont have any rights to say something abt the issue, but shame on you I have all the rights to speak about it because I have my freedom of speech (that Im greatly indebted from all those who died fighting for it). I have the right to express disappointment and rage to those 9 people who allowed a tyrant to become a hero of a nation he once destroyed. The decision is final,yes, I respect them but I would never accept the fact that they let it slip through their hands and allowed the history to change.


A friend asked me, “why are you so enraged that he will be buried there? We wont get something from it.”

Bullshit. We won’t get something from it but the fact that we still cry for JUSTICE because of the horrors of Martial Law yet we allowed him there? He can be buried anywhere but not inside LNMB, anyone’s backyard. The dude deserve to rot after all, what he dont deserve is to be buried in a place where everyone died fighting for the country. Good thing for him he has a body to bury, but what about those who were salvaged, bodies never been recovered, what about them? 😣

We can’t just move on and forget abt this whole thing. It’s our past and it would really affect our future.

I can’t even fathom telling my future kids how someone like Lord Voldemort is buried next to Lily and James Potter.

2016 had been rlly rlly bad in terms of politics: 1. Our president is a joke, inconsistent, and inaccurate maniac who goes oggling his eyes to our VP’s legs instead of appreciating her as she did her duties. A political butterfly who thinks it would be good to side with China and decides to break ties with US. Bad decision. Rlly.

2. Let’s talk about EJK wherein it’s a norm for policemen to kill “drug dealers/users” without enough proofs of evidence. Unfair,unjust. Rlly.

3. A boxer turned out politician cries for death penalty yet ceases to favor the LGBT community because God said there’s only man and woman in the bible. 😡 And now he’s telling us to just move on with the whoe burial issue.

4. Mocha Uson, a sexy dancer of Sexbomb girls, self-proclaimed blogger and avid fanatic of Duterte is now a columnist! Wow shame. Now her biased articles does not only articulate through social media but through newspapers too. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Plus, Trump is now the new president of USA so I’ll just be here waiting which of the two countries fall first. 😢😡😡

People · school

First Year in UP

So here’s a summary of one amazing academic year in the University of the Philippines.

I didn’t really expect everything to turn out great especially since I’m new to the environment but I am very  much thankful and lucky to have these people who guided me throughout the UP life.

To MSI, my first org, the family that gave me the opportunity to lead the batch and be the representative for them. I know I always say this but I couldn’t thank you enough for the chance and thank you for giving me a reason to stay with my course. You guys are great, I would want to be part of the org always and that, if may batch would allow. 💕

To the Balay Ilonggo dormers:

My roomates for enduring my constant blabberings and fangirlings, my OCD, my sleeptalks and everything in between. Thank you for always understanding my mood and to your comforts everytime I feel depressed abt my life. Hay, UP. 😅

BI friends from uppclass to freshies, thank you thank you. You have always been the cousins I ever wanted. Thank you for all the hand-me-down reviewers, tutorial 101, borrowed dresses, fashion tips, life hacks, EVERYTHIIIIING. 😅 I owe you 50% of my happiness here since the dorm has always been home. Next acad year would be totally different since some of you won’t be around, but I hope the bond that we shared would not be forgotten. love you ppl

DUCES, one of my Professor told me that in order to make my stay here in UP worthwhile I should do something that later in my life, I would be proud of. “Invest something that you can say helped the humanity,” she said. And this org opened its doors for me. Thank you for strengthening my leadership skills and for enabling me to help other people through outreach activities. Thank you utods, I hope we could bond and eat OSA-sponsored food for the incoming activities. 😁

Bloc D, I admit it, we are all not super close. But there’s an aura within you guys, a golden string of some sort, that keeps me pulling back near you. You are the friends, that even if we don’t always talk, will always have a special place in my heart. Let’s beat the odds, shall we? Let’s study harder and get that Sablay we’ve been aiming to have. And let us not forget one another. I might not be vocal abt it, but one single smile and hi in the corridors is much appreciated. KAYA TA NI. 💪🏼

FresCo, CM Mardigras Akwe, Old Fangled Carnivale Akwe, BI Akwe, House Council, Bloc Team Building, Juan Big Idea, CMPF, Renaissance..

Toledo, Caballum, Torio, Colon, Arroyo, Catinan, Sadaba. Yap, Pison, Mediodia, Muyargas, Parcon…

Great and Bad things are yet to come. Cheers to three more years (I hope) here in UP.

Cheers for more coffee, readings over feelings, acads over lakads, Kopiko 78.. and to the great unknown. 🍻 🍻

Mabuhay ang mga Iskolar ng Bayan. 🙂